I’m an introvert and I’m a recruiter. Here’s how I’ve broken stereotypes to create my own success
Originally published August 2015
Throughout my life, I’ve been the quiet one. Up until recently with the groundbreaking conversation around introversion and the incredible work of thought leaders like Susan Cain, being the quiet one was a big problem. I was called shy, accused of not being very confident and much of this was internalized. I looked at myself as socially awkward, more engaging over text, the background type of woman and I often found myself becoming dear friends with fabulously extroverted women who shone brighter than I ever thought I could.
Fast forward many years and I find myself identifying as a proud introvert who truly values my down time but genuinely see’s my capacity to navigate the world in my own way – without boxing myself into pre-conceived ideas of what I can and cannot do. It’s a limitless and abundant way of living and much of my newfound confidence comes from recognizing that I didn’t have to play into stereotypes of what would or wouldn’t work for my “quiet” self.
My job requires me to talk to strangers, all day long. It’s exhausting and yes, it drains my energy, but when I get the pleasure of connecting individuals who are passionate and accomplished with roles that really bring out the best in them, it’s the biggest energy booster I could ever ask for.
Now, don’t get me wrong, being an introvert who is in a position to talk to people for a living requires a certain tenacity and a desire to consistently live outside my proverbial comfort zone. I get anxiety when looking at my calendar and seeing back to back calls booked in, I am not the person effortlessly routing a networking event striking up conversations with strangers and I’m so beat after each work day that I’m usually in bed or curled up in front of mindless television before 10 pm each night. I am however the person that loves connecting 1:1, I may even be that person that strikes up conversation with you on an airplane, when you get me on the phone I will charm you to the core and get your really excited about the company I represent and I truly believe that my strengths as a recruiter come from my introversion. I’m a natural observer; always the curious question asker and I listen well enough to pick up on queues that others may not notice. If you really break it down, the seemingly extroverted nature of my work is ironically a natural fit for an introvert.
I stumbled into this role truly by a fateful accident but the path to become successful has been in part due to a sense of self-awareness and a desire to overcome my own insecurities and lets be honest – in part to prove that I could do what most would never imagine I was capable of. Its taken planning, preparation, practice and living by the fake it till you make it mantra each and every day. If you yourself are unsure of how to navigate through this loud world and connect with people through your own brand of quiet confidence, read on to learn more about how I do it.
Embrace and celebrate your uniqueness – know your worth by understanding that being a thinker with a curious mind and strengths outside being the loudest and most gregarious person in the room will work for you once you get the incredible value those qualities bring to your work and personal life. By knowing how being quiet can work for you, it allows you to make room for yourself to create space for the things that are non-negotiable to you – time for recharging, meditation, exercise, reading, whatever it is that you need to balance.
Align your life’s work with something you are truly passionate about – this is the exact reason I am able to be “on” all day long – I love what I do, I see the alignment of my work with my personal values and ethics and I get a chance to be super curious and add value to my business by picking up on things others may not notice. It’s very hard work, it’s not always comfortable, but because I love it so much I push myself to put my best foot forward. It’s truly not work for me because it excites me so much more than my desire to recharge and stay quiet. If you’re struggling to figure this piece out, I have a post that might give you some food for thought, here.
Use social media to express yourself and find your voice – there is a whole world out there of individuals that resonate with your story, that struggle with the same things you do and are passionate about the same things that excite you to the core – connection comes from both the place of commonality through shared interests but also through vulnerability – sharing your failures and fears in a forum that gives people just enough of a glimpse into your life and thoughts. You can build an incredibly strong and powerful personal brand this way and while you’re at it, you may even find your confidence building.
If you find yourself placed in a position out of your comfort zone or you take on a role like myself that requires you to be “on” more than “off” practice, prepare and train. Ask for feedback from trusted people in your life, prepare scripts for phone conversations, videotape yourself speaking to find ways your can improve your ability to connect and be prepared to work and push through the anxiety. It’s not going to be easy, but I promise you its worth it.
I’ll finish off with a quote that continues to be an “ah ha” moment for me and one that speaks to the incredible work that Susan Cain continues to do to shine a light on the introverts around us. She speaks to this quote by Ghandi that says, “In a gentle way you can shake the world.” Just remember your voice is impeccable and important and anything is possible.